sometimes unpresent things have bigger value than present ones

I was occupied by many negative thoughts lately. I know it might make sort of spoiled impression taking into considertion the fact, that I'm finding myslef on the most beautiful beach I've ever seen at the same time as Europe is expepriencing horrible minus temperatures and so many cities are fighting with problems resulting from the cold. But maybe exactly that is the part of the reason. Closed in these couple of square meters of paradise, not leaving the gates of our "resort" I feel as trapped in this imaginary world of beauty as lion in the cages of zoo in Warszaw. I just can't walk on the streets, watch the poverty of people and compare their lives with mine. See the horrible conditions of those milions of street dogs living here, looking into their infinitely sad eyes, take nice holiday photos, feel offended when tuk-tuk driver asks for higher price because I'm european tourist,read my lonely planet guide in search of more stunning places and don't let all those things that I'm confronted with touch me. That brings loads of questions about the sence and need of traveling, about the role and appropriatness of photography and about general egoism. About the ability of people to not see the negaives, to deny them, because the most important of course is to bring back home ONLY the positive memories from all the amazing places, thousends of great photos that you show to your friends and your neighbours when drinking wine and talking about the great trip. Hey that is after all what you payed for, you payed for memories. But I'm not able to conciously regulate my receptors like that, and so I'm fixed to search the simples moments that would mean happiness in this "paradise on first sight". It is the sound of the ocean when I close my eyes, the wind on my face and warm darkness when I'm swinging trying to let my mind go, the golden lights of glow-warms when I open them again, the vitality and richness of the flowers…same flowers as I grow in my appartment in Vienna, but mine look like sick, tired and resigned shadows of those in Sri Lanka. I don't think I'm designed to travel to places like this. There is too much sadness in this beauty. I expereince the feelings of the deepest sadness and helplesness on this most beautiful place. The price I have to pay is much higher then what I can afford!

I'm thinking how it is possible to travel as much as Mr.B did. To see all those places, more or less beautiful or even ugly. Let them become a part of u. At the beginning when you arrive to the place u see it with the eyes of stranger, u understand it through all the habbits u carry arround with u, through courtin of your own prejudice. And than every new morning when u wake up ur sight goes through slight change. Ur eyes are getting used to what u see and ur mind is letting things inside, it is switching to different mode. Slowly u let the place grow inside of you. It gets deep under ur skin and bites into ur bones like some sort of illness that can not be cured. It does not matter if u agree with the things u see, if u like them or not. There is a process going on and u just can't stop it. You are getting used to the sounds, smells, to the air and how it feels when its sliding up your nose, to the light, and taste on your tounge. All this becomes part of you, it is inside of you and lives it's own life. And then the moment comes when you have to leave, you turn around one last time and you know you will never come back again. It it as if you put the lock on your bike and than you tried to ride it without unlocking it. The place has grown into you and you had to let go part of yourself in order to understand it. Now you are leaving but that small part of you has to stay. What than? U are leaving that beautiful (beautiful because it part of you now) place and u are lighter of 10 dkg of your skin, your bones, your blood, your mind and your dreams. U can feel how that little piece of you is drying and dying, as a branch that was removed from the tree. How can you go to another place and let this happen again? How do you feel after doing this your whole life? What drives u to do so?…I guess I'm simply the person who prefers not knowing to knowing, that is why I still wish to be a fool.

album

new project on my WEB







and some more of beds beds beds

if you don't do it others will

I feel like I need to take some photos again





MAX SHER





STEVEN BECKLY





EMILY SHUR





CELINE CLANET





MAJA DANIELS





SHEN WEI





SPENCER MURPHY





TOM HULL





ROMAIN COURTEMANCHE





MAYA DE FOREST

Baudrillard hit the nail on the head

.......in a subtle way, this loss of public space occurs contemporaneously with the loss of private space. The one is no longer a spectacle, the other no longer a secret. Their distinctive opposition, the clear difference of an exterior and an interior exactly described the domestic scene of objects, with its rules of play and limits, and the sovereignty of a symbolic space which was also that of the subject. Now this opposition is effaced in a sort of obscenity where the most intimate processes of our life become the virtual feeding ground of the media. Inversely, the entire universe comes to unfold arbitrarily on your domestic scene. All this explodes, the scene formerly preserved by the minimal separation of public and private, the scene that was played out in a restricted space according to a secret ritual known only by the actors......We are no longer a part of the drama of alienation, we live in the ecstasy of communication. And this ecstasy is obscene....But it is not only the sexual that becomes obscene in pornography, today there is a whole pornography of information and communication, that is to say, of circuits and networks, a pornography of all functions and objects in their readability, their fluidity, their availability, their regulation, in their forced signification, in their performativity , in their branching, in their polyvalence, in their free expression. It is no longer then the traditional obscenity of what is hidden, repressed, forbidden or obscure. On contrary, it is the obscenity of the visible, of the all-too-visible, of the more-visible-than-visible. It is the obscenity of what no longer has any secret, of what dissolves completely in information and communication......


from Baudrillard - The Ectasy of Communication


it is very interesting to publish my beds after reading the whole text from Baudrillard....makes me think and wonder and think and wonder....my highest recommendation to give it a bit time and read and think and wonder about it

amateurism

the views and principles of a person who engages in an activity for pleasure rather than profit.